


An unlikely family

by carlgrimeschildsoldier



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Character Death, Panic Attack, Sad Carl Grimes, description of a gun shot to the head
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 02:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carlgrimeschildsoldier/pseuds/carlgrimeschildsoldier
Summary: carl grimes always considered himself to be pretty average but he was happy until age 12, then Negan happened and that was all gone but was it really?





	An unlikely family

**Author's Note:**

> ok so I wasn't gonna upload this until it was finished but screw it don't pressure me to do new chapters it'll take me longer that way as I'll avoid it lmao. hope you like this idea this is essentially the prologue but it'll have more than one chapter so.

Carl was on his way home from school his uncle was supposed to have picked him up but wasn't at the doors, he waited until it started to get too cold and decided he could walk to his uncle's house, it wasn't too far anyway.  
  
Finally he arrived at his uncle's house for some reason the walk seemed longer this time maybe it was because he didn't have anyone to talk to, he shrugged it off and got the keys to his uncle's house out of the pocket in his bag and went to open the door but noticed the door was already unlocked.  
  
Carl paused at this his uncle never leaves the door unlocked unless he's in the house but he wouldn't have forgotten about him either especially now with Judith just having been born so he slowly opened the door and called out “Shane?” he slowly made his way upstairs and into his uncle's bedroom come study as it was the room his uncle most often was.  
  
All he could see was blood it was running from behind the bed but he couldn't see a body he could only see the blood from where he was stood, frozen.  
  
Once he unfroze he quickly ran to his uncle's body to see what had happened he looked down at his uncle panicked as he saw his gun in his hand and the hole in his head but he couldn't understand what he was seeing his uncle couldn't be dead, he couldn't have killed himself he just couldn't. He grabbed the phone off the side and called his parents he knew he should call the police but he wanted his parents he wanted his dad to tell him that of course, Shane wasn't dead and that it was all a nightmare and for him to wake up, his mom picked up.  
  
“Shane? What have you two done this time?” she questioned with fond annoyance  
  
“mom I… he's...please come here mom I need you please,” Carl said both choked with emotion but seemingly numb to it.  
  
“baby what's happened?” his mom asked with obvious worry in her voice  
  
“He's dead mom but he can't be dead how can he be dead, mom? he can't be he wouldn't do this he… he shot himself mom but Shane wouldn't do that would he? Mom please, please tell me he isn't dead” he tearfully asked  
  
“Baby, I'm coming over have you called the police? It's going to be OK baby it'll be OK”  
  
“I… I'm sorry I wanted you more than the police I haven't called them yet but I wanted you I wanted it not to be real I'm sorry” he was starting to hyperventilate now still staring at his uncle's lifeless body  
  
“It's OK baby it's OK but I need to call the police I'm so sorry baby I need to hang up for a minute I will call right back I promise you but I need to call them”  
  
“I… but mom I don't want I don't want to be alone with him please mom can it wait? Please I just I can't” fully hyperventilating now  
  
“OK baby I'll call them when I get there then OK? Just breathe with me baby in and out”  
  
He tried to copy her breathing but was shaking too much and he couldn't get any air to enter his lungs properly and he couldn't focus on her enough to copy all he could see was his uncle.  
  
“Hey, baby I need you to focus on me OK? Just copy me, baby, please”  
  
“I'm trying” he managed to choke out through gasping breaths  
  
“I know baby I know you are, you are so brave and I love you but I need you to try harder OK Carl? Please baby”  
  
Finally, he manages to breathe with her at some point during this he had ended up sitting on his bed he wasn't sure when he couldn't remember but he was exhausted he just wanted to sleep and wake up with this all having been a horribly vivid nightmare.  
  
“mom why would he do this? Was it because of me did I do something?”  
  
“I don't know baby I don't know but he loved you it wasn't your fault OK? I'm nearly there now Carl”  
  
“OK mom I love you”  
  
“I love you too baby so much”  
  
“I can't get the image out of my head mom, I'm not looking anymore but it's all I can see”  
  
“I know baby and I wish you had never had to look I'm so sorry baby it'll be OK I promise it'll get better I just need you to be brave OK? I'm nearly there now”  
  
“OK, mom” Tears were now freely streaming down his face he made no attempt to hold them in it would have been pointless.  
  
A few minutes later he could vaguely hear his mom's panic calls for him he didn't really have the energy to get up and go to her though so decided to just wait for her to come to him.  
  
“Carl? Carl!” she finally entered the room and saw Carl sat staring at the floor on the other side of the bed some errant tears still flowing free but he was mostly to numb to cry now the shock of it all had finally hit.  
  
She kneeled in front of him and gently held his cheek until he looked up at her tears still in his eyes which were almost devoid of emotion whilst simultaneously overflowing with emotion as if the emotion was too much he'd gone blank with it.  
  
“mom I…”  
  
“It's OK baby I know”  
  
He nodded his entire body felt heavy she kissed his forehead and gently rubbed his arm.  
  
“I'm going to call the police now OK? Do you want to stay in here or go wait downstairs?”  
  
“we should probably go downstairs but I just I'm tired mom.” he said his voice breaking.  
  
“Oh I know baby I know” she gently pulled him into a hug and he seemed to just collapse into her too exhausted to cling but wanting to do nothing else. She starts to stroke his hair like she used to when he was really little and would trip and hurt himself.  
  
Eventually, a few minutes, seconds, hours later Carl isn't sure anymore everything is just blurring together now, she moves back and after another kiss on his forehead gets up. She quickly pulls out her phone and calls 911 but Carl isn't really paying attention anymore he can hear her voice saying something but he doesn't care enough to work out what it is.  
  
A while later he notices his mom is talking to him so he tries to pay attention again  
  
“... You listening sweetheart?”  
  
“sorry”  
  
“Oh, it's OK baby we just need to go downstairs to wait for them can you walk baby?”  
  
“I think so”  
  
She helps him up his legs are shaky and he's trembling but they somehow manage to get downstairs without injury. She leads him to the sofa and he sits down so he can curl up he leans his head on his knees and wraps his arms around his knees. All he can think is this is the guy who waited outside the room with him whilst his baby sister was born, the guy who taught him to ride a bike because his dad was busy with work, he was the one who taught him to fight, he was the one who sat with him and rubbed his back whilst he cried when he broke his arm this was Shane the guy who he loved but now he was dead he'd shoot himself when he knew Carl would be the one to find him why would he do this?  
  
His thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door and his mom quickly moves from beside him to open the door. It's his dad and another officer who he isn't sure the name of.  
  
“Lori what happened?” his dad asked confusion all over his face his eyes darting from Carl back to Lori  
  
“Shane he… he shot himself, Rick. Carl found him and called me”  
  
“what… Shane. Shane shot himself?” he asked swallowing against a lump that had formed  
  
“Yeah I'm so sorry Rick” she stated with tears in her eyes whilst the other officer stood awkwardly unsure what to do  
  
“OK, Sam can you go check the body? And call for some other officer to assist on the case I can't be involved”  
  
“yes sir” Sam stated walking up the stairs  
  
Rick sighed blinking back tears staring at his son. He slowly walked towards Carl and gently reached out a hand to stroke through his hair.  
  
“Hey Carl”  
  
“dad” Carl murmurs from behind his arms  
  
Rick sighed again and knelt down in front of his son  
  
“I love you, Carl”  
  
“I love you too dad”  
  
“can you look up? please Carl”  
  
He slowly lifts his head to look at his dad. This time there are no tears in his eyes they just have a far away blank look to them the sight of them breaks risks heart all over again. He leans forward to gently kiss his son's forehead  
  
“Rick? I'm sorry to interrupt but we're going to need a statement from both him and Lori” Sam gently states from where he now stands at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
“I know yeah I know you do sorry can I just have a second? Just to make sure he's OK? Please he's my son”  
  
“Yeah sure Rick take all the time you need”  
  
“thanks”  
  
Rick turns back to Carl now staring at his son's hair again as Carl has bent his head back down again but he notices that his shoulders are shaking pretty violently.  
  
“Hey, Carl you cold? Sam, I think he's in shock could you get the blanket from the car? It should still be in there”  
  
Whilst Sam rushes off to go grab the blanket Rick gently rubs his sins back and whispers into his ear how he loves him it's OK and anything else he can think of.  
  
“here”  
  
“Thanks” he grabs the blanket from Sam and wraps it around his son gently stroking his back still. Then realizes carl's whispering something and leans in closer to see if he can hear what he's saying  
  
“why would he do this? I don't understand he wouldn't do this, would he? Why? I just I don't get it. It can't be real. It just can't I'm going to wake up soon and realize it was just a bad dream. I can't be real”  
  
“I'm so sorry Carl it'll be OK I'm sorry kiddo,” Rick says gently pulling his son into a hug and just like the hug with his mom, he collapses into it  
  
The rest passes by in a blur, until they get to the police office, he could vaguely hear his parents talking to the other officers and could hear new people coming in and out but none of it really registered. Once they arrived at the police station he was led to sit down, Sam and another office sat opposite him.  
  
“I'm really sorry Carl but do you think you could tell us what happened? I know this is hard but we need to know”  
  
“I… I was waiting for him outside school he normally picks me up but he wasn't there and I knew the way back so I just went alone I got there and the door was unlocked which was weird, he never leaves it unlocked, so I went upstairs and…” he breaks off he can't say it, he just can't.  
  
“It's OK Carl, so you found him what did you do next?”  
  
“I called home, I just wanted my mom or my dad and then my mom came over and everything is fuzzy, I can't think”  
  
“It's OK that's all we needed,” Sam says getting up  
  
Everything is far away again, he can't focus on it enough to actually realize what's happening until he gets home. His mom tucks him into bed like she hasn't since he was little and kisses his forehead.  
  
“if you need us we are just down the hall OK Carl?”  
  
“yes mom”  
  
“I love you baby”  
  
“I love you too”  
  
She leaves turning his light off as she goes he's not sure he'll be able to sleep but surprisingly he falls asleep nearly instantly. He dreams.  
  
_“Carl! How are you, my man? You've grown! I can't believe how tall you are now dude”_  
  
_“Shane! I'm good, school is boring though and yep! I grew 2 inches! Where's mom?”_  
  
_“she had to go hospital the baby is coming, you excited?”_  
  
_“I can't wait to be a big brother, big brother Carl cool huh?”_  
  
_“sure is man, come on get in the car so we can go see”_  
  
_They get to the hospital and instantly know something is wrong._  
  
_“what happened?”_  
  
_“I'm so sorry she died, the baby died too and the father in his grief killed himself”_  
  
_That's when Shane grabs his gun and points it at himself_  
  
_“It's all your fault Carl”_  
  
_“I'm sorry,” Carl says tears streaming down his face._  
  
_Shane presses the trigger blood flying onto Carl and he screams._  
  
“Carl!? Baby wake up! It's just a dream” his mom calls for him shaking him gently.  
  
“mom?” tears already falling, his throat raw from screaming.  
  
“yes baby, mommy's here”  
  
He just clings to her tears still falling from his eyes, his breathing ragged and broken. She stays holding him for what must have been hours.  
  
“can you tell me what happened baby?” Lori questions gently.  
  
“it was when you gave birth but you didn't make it, Judy didn't and dad killed himself and then Shane said it was my fault and then he shot himself and I couldn't stop it and blood went all over me and you were all dead and I was alone and”  
  
“It's OK baby that didn't happen, I've got you it's OK. What happened to Shane wasn't your fault, he loved you so much”  
  
“then Why?”  
  
“I don't know Carl, but it wasn't you I know that”  
  
“are you sure it wasn't?”  
  
“of course it wasn't, baby, why do you think it was?”  
  
“I don't know I just do”  
  
“well I promise you it wasn't your fault”  
  
“OK, I think I want to sleep again but could you stay with me? Please?”  
  
“of course Carl can you budge up a bit?”  
  
He shuffled slightly over giving Lori enough space to lie down with him and pull him into a tight hug.  
  
“I've got you, Carl, just go to sleep baby” surprisingly he did.


End file.
